When we first heard about the option of doing a few hours ‘light’ work in exchange for three free dives a day onboard a dive boat, it sounded too good to be true. Indeed it was. It turns out that describing our tasks as being a few hours ‘light’ work is a little like saying Hitler was a little bit naughty. Unfortunately, by the time we realised this we were on a boat, hours from land and with no option but to grin and bear it. We contemplated starting a mutiny but there were no takers and it would have failed anyway.
We were on the boat for four short nights and five long days and worked until we could work no more. Some of you may become upset by the following story of hardship and toil. Some of you may be repulsed at what we had to go through. You will all feel a profound sense of pity for my poor wife and I. Our day would go something like this:
6am – Wake up before the sun and clean the tea and coffee station. Pull on a wet and bone chillingly cold wetsuit. Dive into the sea before the sun pokes its head above the horizon. Enjoy thirty minutes of calm diving, watch the fish wake up and spring to life around the coral and surface as the warm rays of the sun darts through the cold water.
7am- Climb out of the clingy wetsuit and pull on dry clothing without time to dry off. Race into the kitchen and help prepare for breakfast. Lay the tables, clear the tables, wash up and dry the dishes, clean the kitchen and the dining room. Snatch a quick bite to eat in the few minutes to spare. Clean the tea and coffee station.
9am – Pull on the cold and wet wetsuit and dive back into the slightly more inviting water. Use the thirty minutes under water to catch our breath and slow down our breathing while looking at sleeping sharks, lion fish, turtles and Nemo fish.
10am- Rip off the wetsuit and pull on dry clothing before vacuuming the entire ship. Change and make the beds of departing guests, usually about thirty of them.
12pm- Prepare the dining room for lunch, help in the kitchen, lay the tables, clean the tables, wash and dry the dishes and clean the kitchen. Grab something delicious to eat.
1pm- Clean the bathrooms of departing guests. Now this is the disgusting bit and apparently is a trade secret. If you want to enjoy future stays in hotels, move on to the next bit. If you are a bit of a masochist, I warned you. We were instructed to use departing guest’s towels and floor mats to clean the bathroom mirrors, sink, floor, shower, toilet and ... cups. That’s right. The same thing that would clean the floor and toilet would also clean the cups guests would drink out of. Our voices of protest fell on deaf ears and we worked around this rule to ensure that, at the very minimum, the cups would be cleaned properly. So next time you are in a hotel, inspect the glass very, very closely. As you can see from the photo bellow, I did not enjoy this particualr part of our deal.
2:30pm- Assist with transfer of guests.
3:00pm- First proper break of the day and unrestricted dive time. We would manage about a fifty minute dive, playing with sea turtles and angel fish. After this dive we would have time to dry off before putting clean clothing on. Nice.
5pm- Prepare for dinner. Lay tables, clear tables, wash and dry dishes, clean kitchen and prepare dessert. Have some dinner. Clean tea and coffee station.
7pm- Jump into the sea for a night dive and swim with sharks. Frightening.
8pm- Prepare for dessert. Eat dessert. Clear tables and wash and dry dishes. Clean kitchen. Clean tea and coffee station.
9pm – Go down into the hull, climb onto the bunk bed and fall asleep before our poor wee heads hit the pillow.
As you can see, the slave drivers certainly squeezed every minute out of us and they kept us on the precipice of exhaustion. This was the deal we signed up to and it was well worth the effort. Our only real breaks were the dives themselves and they were absolutely spectacular. The colours were vivid and the fish were wonderfully curious. Watching giant turles glide through the sea towards us is a memory to cherrish. These were the most wonderful creatures of all and probably the only air breathing beings I wouldn't contomplate eating. Diving is the most relaxing and unrestrictive activity I have ever done. The sense of total freedom (especially with an air tank the size of belgium) is mind blowing. This is why I came to Australia.
